Defeat is an empty, gut-wrenching feeling. To have tried something or put your all into anything and embrace the let down that follows if it doesn’t work out just as you had planned is seemingly difficult. To make changes in your life, you must first feel uncomfortable. If you are happy and content, you tend to stay where you are. It’s when you’re at your lowest that you take charge and bring about change. When you start poking around to see where you can go – preferably anywhere but down – you will come across dead ends, crushed ideas and complete let downs. Defeat is lurking above all of the those motions.
Instead of feeling defeated, turn it around and say, “I’m glad I tried that. I now know that wasn’t for me.” Things won’t happen in your life unless they are meant to be. Every obstacle, every trial, no matter how crushing it is, there is a lesson. This way, when you get to where you’re going the knowledge you have gained throughout makes you appreciate and work hard to maintain that state of mind. The thrill of victory trumps the agony of defeat. Staying true to your course is the hardest thing to do when you feel the pressures of being discouraged.
Take Charge Now
Learn from inspirational people
During times of sadness and melancholy it is often a good idea to remind yourself of inspirational people who have achieved great things, overcoming adversities and difficulties.
Often the ebbs in your life serve as experiences that equip you with a real mental toughness. Fill your mind and body with the philosophy “that if I can get through this I can get through anything.”
Winston Churchill is a fine example of someone that made remarkable achievements for himself and his country. Despite having to contend with severe bouts of depression he still managed to find the inspiration to create a vision that lead Britain to a heroic victory during the second world war.
Understand that suffering is not necessarily a bad thing, and often it is through hardship that great people are born.
Happiness is a choice taking responsibility
Some argue that happiness is a choice, a phenomena that only arrives in your life when you decide to make it so.
It is easy to view happiness as the by-product of achieving the things you want in life.
The same goes for depression; thinking that happiness will arrive once you are no longer depressed, although it seems to make perfect sense, is arguably a flawed approach.
It is much more powerful to understand that irrespective of what is going on in the present moment, you have the choice to be happy, if you are prepared to take ownership of this emotion.
Everyone has the ability to generate their own internal states, and therefore it can be argued that it is within your control to produce feelings of happiness whenever you choose to. Although it may be more difficult for some individuals, arguably it is still possible.
Surround yourself with happy people
When I work with people that suffer from depression I advise them to surround themselves with positive people. Depression is highly contagious, and a number of scientific studies have shown that being around depressed people significantly increases your chances of becoming depressed.
Therefore, if a depressed person spends most of their time socializing with people that are also depressed, the condition may worsen.
If happiness is your goal, surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting
Arguably this is a problem within mental institutes. How can patients suffering from mental illness get back to a normal way of life if they are living in a confined environment surrounded by people that also have internal disturbances?
All of us unconsciously learn through observation, which is why it is advisable that you surround yourself with individuals that are positive models.
Goal setting is a great way of getting your life moving in a positive direction. The effects of depression are always aggravated when you feel like you have no direction and nothing to aim for.
Goals will help to direct your mind and body towards the things that you want.
Goals may come in the form of well organized exercise routines, increasing your level of social activity, and making more time to pursue your hobbies.
Whatever goals you set, when you begin making progress towards them, feelings of depression are likely to subside.
If you get stuck in a rut, the most important thing to remember is to keep moving forward. No matter how painful, or how discouraged you are, the best way out is by maintaining motion.
Thoughts, comments, questions? Email me, JennKaysen@gmail.com
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